Hey Everyone, after many years of building finally got our tenderly on the water! Now sooner than expected family is starting to ask if they can sail it… right now it’s out of commission because a few small things need repair, but probably next season the issue will come up again. My wife is a bit more relaxed about the issue but i’ve put a lot more time into the boat and will also be the one doing the repair work when/if something’s damaged. Anyway, how do you guys manage this? The simplest solution in my mind is no access to the boat if one of us isn’t there, but my wife sees this as too extreme. The boat is a good 4 hrs drive away and i’m worried about opening pandora’s box and having to maintain a boat that’s never in perfect condition when i find the time to use it. Anyway, any input would be much appreciated!
Ah - complicated interpersonal situations. Most of us can relate, I bet. I'm really bad at all of that stuff, or so I'm told, but I'm going to give you advice anyway for some reason.
I think I would only let family use the boat if I were confident that they are (1) careful with things in general and would treat the boat with roughly the same kind if care I would (or better), (2) aware of how much work is needed to achieve and maintain a nice finish (let alone repairing gashes or other major damage), and (3) capable of using the boat or at least aware of their limitations.
I would consider making a short, reasonable, and non-insulting list of ground rules for use (to be posted where the boat lives - sounds like a shared vacation house or similar) and leave it at that. Surely anyone who knows how much effort you've put into the build should avoid getting irrationally miffed over a few rules. It's your boat, so you can do what you want, but it does seem likely that allowing others to use the boat only when you're there would inspire resentment and grumbling. Is that worse than having to fix damage due to others' use? Only you (and your wife?) can decide, I suppose.
Or you could try telling them that the boat has an incurable infestation of tiny, invisible mites or something. Good luck!
I would take each family member wanting to use the boat when you are not around out for an extensive, one on one "certification" outing, riding along as crew / tactitician / observer. Say little, and mostly answer any questions with "What would you do if I wasn't here?" Observe whether the family member seems (1) compentent to handle the boat without killing themselves and (2) takes reasonable care in launching, getting underway, handling, landing, recovery and storage of the boat. You should then be able to decide whether to "certify" the individual as .001 Ton Master.
If you do this on a busy day on the water with lots of different sorts of watercraft around, you should be able to asses the individual's competence as to rules of the road, etc. Perhaps a quick oral exam while underway would be appropriate.
I'd be mostly worried about what the family might do to himself of others along with him when the boat is under his command. Wooden boats are going to get banged up some in ordinary use if not on display in a museum, so some of that is unavoidable whether it's happens when you're in command or not. Perhaps a demonstrated willingness to participate in the routine maintenance would be factor in your decision.
Everybody has his own set of gifts and talents, and decisions like this need to be handled individually. I was never one to fall for the false sylogism, But, Dad (Uncle Mike, whatever), you let Johnny do (whatever)!"